About Love

 

"Oh humankind! We created you from a single pair of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, so that you may know each other (not that ye may despise each other). Verily the most honored among you in the sight of Allah is the who is the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things)" -Q.S. Al-Hujurat:13

 

As the moslem, I believe all of human in this world created in pairs for one and other. This promise given by Allah SWT has put the faith on me that I will meet the man who I will love the most eventually, eventhough I never in relationship for 24 years since I was born.

It’s kinda ridiculous to think about it, because everyone on my age (especially all of my friends) already found their soulmate, and become girlfriend-and-boyfriend. I don’t. I never have boyfriend. And honestly at some point I always feel sad and weird to think about it. It’s like the most important thing lately for teenagers especially for woman is just finding a man.

The truth is, I never try to find it. I never can do that.

I think love is belong to our heart. If he is the right man, our heart will tell us. For me personally I never can decide who’s the man that I will like to, or the “type” or criteria of man that I will fall in love to. I never agree with the concept of ‘my man criteria’ thing for getting in relationship; because I think ‘criteria’ or ‘type’ belong to the stuff or something, not someone.

Everytime I ended up in relationship; either love relationship or friendship I always know they are the right one because my heart will choose them, not my mind or my thought.

Last time I fall in love with a man was in high school.

He was my first love, actually.

And there is no reason for me to love him. My friends used to ask me what’s so special from him. I never can answer that question. In fact, I didn’t see his face clearly when the first time I got interested on him.

I don’t like a man from their appearance, because it will fade at the end

I don’t like or look for a man based on their money or wealth. If this is something that I am looking for, I am sure I already had some ex before.

I never want to be a burden to other people- even with my parents. I am not really confidence to ask other’s money or their belongings for my personal needs. I like to get something because of my work, my effort.

The thing that made me falling in love with him (my first love) is his closeness to Allah SWT. He is really religious.

I remember the reason my eyes got attached with his existence was the time I saw him got so wet because of the rain. On that time, my friend was yelling at him asking why he was running under the rain, and I still remember he said “I want to pray Jumah in the mosque”.

That was such an amazing moment for me.

We were in the top of mountain on that day. There was school’s event that made us to stay in certain houses on the village for a week, and the only mosque on there is under the mountain and to get there we have to go down the mountain and through the forest.

I was falling in love with him for about 8 years, just because of that moment.

I know, it sounds ridiculous, but its true.

I admire him. So much.

I support him even though many people criticize him in front of me. I always know he is a good man. I admire him until today, even after I found out he got married.

Last year, in 2021 He got married with his girlfriend.

First time, I knew it I was really shocked, and sad (of course).

But, overall I still admire him. In fact, I admire him more than ever after that.

He was successful to bring his girlfriend to be a moslem. He brings his girlfriend to Allah.

…………………………………………….

For me, love belongs to other level of our mind. Love is just not about having someone to be ours. The true love for me is when I can support and still trust someone in every situation, and when I can always bring their name in my pray without I ever planned.

And yes, I always pray the best for him.

I am so proud I can fall in love with someone like him.

Without he never know, he helped me during my time in high school.

I never try to find other man or try to make relationship during high school.

Because of him, I tried to learn Islam more deeply for the first time in my life.

He helped me to get closer to Allah without he ever know.

 

I know, in the future I will meet the man who has been decided by Allah SWT, as His promise.

 

I ever read that in our life, at least we fall in love with 3 people in our lifetime.

First step of love is the love happens at young age. We eventually grow apart or call it as silly things. For me, this is the part when I got interested with my senior in junior high school because he helped me at school’s event.

Second love is the hard one. This love teaches us lesson and makes us stronger. It gives us the perception about love. It includes pain, lies, betrayal, drama, and damage. My first love in high school was my second step of love. He gave me pain and gratitude at the same time. There were lots of drama between us, but now all I can say is I am really thankful for that, for every lesson he gave to my life.

Third love is something that comes blindly. No warning. You never looking for this love. It just comes to you. You will try to deny it with everything in you, but it will never work. You will find that yourself is change and caring for him without you ever try.

This love when you will know that he is the one who will be your future husband.

I don’t meet this one yet. Whoever he is, I know in my heart he is good person that choosen directly by Allah SWT for me.

 

I am not sure why I write this thing J I just want to clear my mind lately and throw it far away from my mind into this paper so I can be free.

For everyone who read this blog, I hope we will find our true love soon. And if we don’t, just remember that there are so many beautiful thing in your life that you should be thanking for.

Don’t confine your happiness just for one person.

He/she will come in the perfect time, and in the perfect situation.

Just wait and see J

 

_Riska